Are the Kids Alright?
The Kids Are Alright is a 2010 film that follows a lesbian couple, Nic and Jules, and their two teenagers, Joni and Laser (really? Laser?), as the family navigates the introduction of the kid's bio-dad, Paul. Nic and Jules chose to use the same sperm donor for both their children, and when Joni turns 18, she contacts her bio-dad so her brother can meet him. The two kids chose to keep this a secret from Nic and Jules, thinking their moms wouldn't approve. However, eventually, the two find out and decide to meet Paul themselves. Paul causes tension within the family when he begins to try and take on a "father" role to Joni and Laser, upsetting Nic's usual control of the family. What adds to that tension is the eventual affair that begins between Jules and Paul. After Paul hires Jules for a landscaping job, the two become close and Paul's appreciation towards Jules kicks off the affair. Nic eventually finds out about the affair, causing a rift within the family. The film ends with what is supposed to be a happy note, with Joni moving away for college and Nic and Jules remaining together, with Laser joking that they're too old to start over. The purpose of the film's title is to show that despite the kid's unconventional family, they are all right. However, as one person pointed out in class, it’s difficult to really see if the kids are all right since they have barely any screen time.
The Kids Are Alright uses homonormativity to argue that queer families are “just like straight families.” However, this frame of thinking is limiting, and “[a]s a result, rather than critiquing monogamy, procreation, and prescriptive gender roles as potentially heterosexist and racist, homonormativity creates hierarchies within LGBTQ communities where those mimicking heteronormative gender identities are deemed most ‘worthy’ of receiving rights.” (Kennedy 121) Even though the film follows a queer couple and their family, it still works to reinforce norms and binaries. For example, when Nic confronts Jules about her affair with Paul, she asks if Jules is straight now, as if gay and straight are the only two options. The lesbian relationship shown in the film also falls into heteronormative binaries and reinforces norms. Nic acts as the “butch” of the relationship, while Jules acts as the “femme.” Nic is the breadwinner of the household, she sits at the head of the table, and she does typically “masculine” hobbies such as grilling. Jules, on the other hand, is a stay-at-home mom who is trying to break away from that role. However, even the role she takes outside the home (gardening/landscaping) could be seen as “feminine.” Even in a film with the main couple being lesbians, they still follow heteronormative structures. On a side note, there's something icky to me about the "butch" of the relationship being controlling and mean and the "femme" of the relationship being the one to have an affair with a man. It's like the film is reinforcing stereotypes of butches being mean and femmes being secretly straight, whether consciously or not.
I think what is most disappointing to me about this film is that it had the potential to be good. The idea of a lesbian couple and their kids meeting their bio-dad and having to navigate unconventional family dynamics is an interesting film concept. The film could have gone against homonormativity and showed how a family can be more than a monogamous, heteronormative nuclear family-esque structure. However, I think it’s important to realize that at the time the film was released, the premise of the film as-is was out of the norm. As it was mentioned in class, gay marriage, sperm donation, and other themes addressed in the film were not as accepted as they currently are. By watching the film now, we can examine how things used to be viewed and what has changed.
Citations:
Tammie M. Kennedy (2014) Sustaining White Homonormativity: The Kids Are All Right as Public Pedagogy, Journal of Lesbian Studies, 18:2, 118-132
I agree that this film was so wildly disappointing because it had so much potential, and that it is important to address how revolutionary/out-of-the-norm this film was upon release. At the same time, I found the film so, so frustrating. I agree that even though the film's the title is about the children, the fact that we see so much more of Mark Ruffalo than Joni and Laser is really annoying. I think this is a film I have to intellectually understand is important in terms of queer history while also thinking it is really annoying to a modern viewer.
ReplyDeleteHello! I agree the kids were given little time when the title of the film would suggest otherwise. I agree that the movie had potential to be good and provide a new perspective in queer cinema of family relations. If this movie were to be redone and changed in some respects it could be a little more redeeming. I agree in 2010 the movie did push some boundaries to an extent but especially now the film is more homonormative than progressive. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteThe stereotype of the femme being secretely straight was so irritating. There's a common trend of straight men "complimenting" queer, feminine women by telling them they're "too pretty to be gay." It's so upsetting to insinuate that attractiveness/femininity is wasted on sleeping with women and should instead serve men. This whole film was androcentric, and despite being a shitty dude, Paul was like the main character. It was really bizarre. Additionally, bisexuality was never mentioned in the film. Instead, Jules was either gay or straight with no in between, which was so bizarre. I know it was filmed in 2010, but it's hard to imagine that we've come so far in 15 years. The straight/gay, male/female binary was obnoxious.
ReplyDeleteI felt the same way! Irritated by the stereotype of the femme being secretly straight, and frustrated that it was as disappointing as it was. I do realize that it was a little dated, but it was still frustrating. It's so disappointing how interesting this could have been and then seeing how much it let me down. Heavy on the homonormativity.
ReplyDeleteI also discussed the framing of "queer families are just like straight families" in my blog, and highlighted an interview with the writer where she mentioned wanting to avoid politics, which seems very questionable in a film centering lesbians in 2010. The heteronormative roles placed on both Nic and Jules also serve to further from any queer ideas, and the inclusion of the affair is the last nail in the coffin. I wish the film was better, but I was largely disappointed in its failures and its heteronormativity.
ReplyDeleteI felt the same way while watching the film. I hate the idea that femmes are straight and are "fake gays," and being that was the main plot point in the movie, I wasn't able to enjoy the film. I do think that a lot has changed with even terminology in the queer community, and that, in order to appeal to the straight audience, the women had to have a "simple" label (just continuing to spread the idea that bisexual people don't exist, which is problematic in it's own right) but I think that sometimes, 14 years isn't enough of an excuse when the movie was also just boring.
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